Positive

I started working as an admin assistant last Thursday. It was not really a job that I would really like but I am blessed to be able to get a temporary job. I am going to work while waiting for my scholarship results. I know that the percentage of me getting accepted for this scholarship is really low, around 2 %, but who knows, maybe I will get accepted. Plus, I just have to wait until end August or beginning of September. This scholarship is my only hope to further my studies. If I did not get accepted, welcome working world. Is not that I do not like working, but I really want to study broadcasting now. I am just scared that when I earn enough to further studies, my interest in studying disappears.

Those of you who are going to further your studies, you should feel fortunate. Being able to further your studies is a great opportunity. Not everyone can have it. But at the same time, I pity some of you. You are able to further your studies but you are force to take a course that you do not like just for the sake of inheriting your family business. Eventually, everything would turn out well. I am not saying that I do not feel fortunate, but the other way around. I consider myself fortunate to be able to study diploma and also to be pampered by my mom and sis. I feel grateful that my mom has put me through to college and has taken care of me all these years. I am my mom’s number 1…. Opps number 2. Nadia has taken over my place. But is okay, she get to experience what I have experience all these years.

A friend of mine has given me a thought of advice. She suggested that I should I apply for the PTPN Loan to further my studies. I find that this idea is great but I am not a risk taker. To apply for the loan, I first have to take loan for my first semester from the bank and then during my first semester I can apply for the PTPN Loan. Great is great but is very risky. I have to borrow RM9,000 from the bank. But what if I did not get accepted, I will not only lose RM9,000 I would also have to pay for the bank interest. I cannot make a rash decision and not think of the consequences. We are not only talking about my future, it also involves my mom’s future and also her money. My mom Is not that young and why should I risk my mom’s money for something that I should face and not her. Most of you will say that I can surely get the PTPN Loan but in this world there is no 100% confirmation. Thank you so much to all of you for being there for me, giving me advices, helping me but I have already made up my mind. Either I get the scholarship or I start working.

I pray every night hoping that I would be accepted for the scholarship. I even dream about me being in Korea studying, having fun, and mixing around. My dreams are really cool right. All I can do now is to be positive. I keep thinking that I would be accepted and that I am going to Korea soon. The word negative does not exist anymore. I even plan on what to bring and what I should do before I leave Malaysia. I know being too positive is not good but I rather feel happy than being sad.

In conclusion, I really really want to be accepted for the scholarship.

p/s: Ling, Lai, after the results are out, let’s hang out together yeah regardless I got accepted or not. If got accepted let it be a happy outing, but if I got rejected then please lend me shoulder to lean on. :D